Relational trauma is trauma that occurs within a relationship. When it occurs in childhood, a trusted adult becomes violent. What was familiar becomes threatening and dangerous.
A conflict ensues. The child depends on the adult, and simultaneously fears that same adult.
This conflict is impossible to resolve. The impact of relational trauma lasts well into adulthood.
Trauma destroys time. Although it may lie in the past, it affects the present, and seems never to be completely past.
Relational trauma can result in…
- feelings of worthlessness, shame, or guilt,
- feeling threatened for seemingly no reason,
- feelings of help- or hopelessness,
- self-destructive behaviour, such as addictions,
- destructive or toxic relationships.
Traumatic memory is different from other kinds of memory. What does that mean?
It means that feelings, flashbacks, triggers and/or bodily sensations are forms of traumatic memory. Trauma can also be remembered by being reenacted. Self-destructive behaviour is often a form of traumatic memory.
It is nevertheless often possible to function in everyday life. Doing so may entail numbing or detaching from your feelings, but that won’t make the trauma any less real and it will continue to impact on your life.
Psychotherapy
I believe that it is possible to heal and recover from trauma, and that therapy helps with this process. Together we will explore the ways in which…
- trauma continues to impact on your present life,
- you were able to survive trauma,
- you can create a better und freer future for yourself.
Merely talking about trauma does have its limitations, however, and I may therefore suggest integrating EMDR into our work. This kind of therapy….
- uses alternating movements (“bilateral stimulation”) to help process traumatic memories,
- helps reduce symptoms such as addictions, self-destructive behaviour, or anxieties,
- enables a deeper healing of traumatic wounds.
